munchman: The Real X-Files Conspiracy

Mulder-and-Scully-the-x-files-79163_430_326by munchman

I love this idea about what was really going on between Mulder and Scully in the original X-FILES. Don’t know why. I just do:

…[T]he the only pseudoscientific conspiracy theory I’m interested in propagating is my longtime conviction that Mulder and Scully started fucking in the very first episode of The X-Files. I have fought about this with so many fellow nerds that I’ve basically adopted a “Don’t @ Me” policy in real life about it, like just accept and respect my beliefs, and I’ll do the same with yours. But. Ok. You know in the pilot episode when Scully thinks she’s been bitten by whatever thing they’re in the middle of nowhere investigating? I could look this up but I’m kind of enjoying doing this by memory. ANYWAY, she thinks she’s been bitten, and she knocks on Mulder’s door, and she’s wearing JUST A TRENCH COAT OVER HER BRA AND UNDERWEAR, and she SHOWS HIM JUST HER SHOULDER, and he TOUCHES THE BITE and SMILES and says “IT’S JUST A MOSQUITO BITE”? Like. I’m wet just remembering this. Are you telling me that they DIDN’T immediately have “wow I’m not going to die and I’m so relieved” sex right then and there?

–Haley Mlotek

Jeeze Louis, this fucking explains everything!

I don’t know Haley Mlotek, the writer of the piece the above quote is taken from, but I’m definitely now a fan. And I’m thinking The Hairpin.Com, where the above first appeared, is a pretty cool site.

Especially since they’re open to freelance submissions of original content from, um, you know – writers like us.

Check it out

And here’s the context of the insightful paragraph above.


munchman is the pseudonym for the huge but deliberately unknown talent who is the secret power behind Larry Brody’s throne. But you already knew that, right?