- The first episode of CROSSBONES plunges us right into an action-packed story with a rousing sea battle.
- John Malkovich joins the ranks of great TV actors of 2014. (A year filled with great TV actors, btw.)
- The first episode of CROSSBONES does indeed plunge us right into an action-packed story, but that story is about a bunch of psychotic, cruel, and totally stereotypical barely human beings with no redeeming qualities whatsoever.
- John Malkovich great’s acting may in fact make him the best showbiz incarnation of Satan in a year that’s also distinguished by masterful showbiz incarnations of Satan.
CROSSBONES is the obvious result of a meeting that went like this:
Exec #1: GAME OF THRONES is the hottest thing on TV. Let’s give our audience all the barbarity of that one and watch it grow!
Exec #2: Plus pirates. Gotta have pirates for the kids.
Everyone involved in this exercise in re-hashed, over-the-top crap deserves to be tortured the same way they now are torturing their characters…and viewers.
The most disappointing thing about this series so far is that they won’t.