Bill Cosby & Other Famous Monsters of TV Land

by Larry Brody

My hero who doesn’t know I’m alive strikes again:

Bill Cosby: mentor?
by Ken Levine

I’ve always been a big fan of Bill Cosby. Loved his comedy albums as a kid, took my wife to Las Vegas to see his stand-up act…and admired THE COSBY SHOW (at least when it started). He was a true original and his comedy came out of reality. You laughed because you related. He was also a damn good spokesman for Jello. So I respect his work. We’re clear on that, right?

Recently, WRITTEN BY, the WGA’s monthly magazine did an article where they referred to Bill Cosby as a writer’s mentor. I think they were being a little overly generous. I wouldn’t call him a mentor.

I’d call him an egotist who worked his writers as if they were pack mules.

Read it all

In this blog post based on the Written By article he cites, Ken Levine translates the facts, which the magazine presents in the same light Doris Day used to be photographed in once upon a time, into hard truth. Bill Cosby’s work habits make him into a classic example of a boss who had absolutely no respect for the writers he worked with. None. Zero. Zilch.

But I think it’s important to know that Cos isn’t standing alone in his Vile Boss costume. Nor is this kind of behavior limited to powerful actors. Although throughout my career I’ve had many mentors, none of them were the guys who ran the shows. The showrunners – who in those days were called simply Executive Producers or, in one case, Studio Heads – were for the most part monsters, pure and simple.

David Gerber, who ran Columbia Pictures Television back in the day, was a bully who not only yelled but physically threatened writers. I had to hit the gym and build up my body just so I could withstand the cross body blocks he threw at me in the halls everyday.

Roy Huggins, whose characters (remember Maverick, anyone?) were known for their relaxed, easy charm, was a martinet who would summon in a writer and then go quickly (so quickly it was impossible to follow what he was saying) word by word through a script he’d covered with scribbled notes and throw each page on the floor when he finished it. Well, not just on the floor, all over the floor. And at the end of the meeting he would order the writer to scramble around on hands and knees and pick up the pages and take them home so he or she didn’t miss any of the criticisms.

Jay Bernstein, known more for his explosive temper and expertise as a P.R. man and personal manager than for his writer-producer skills, couldn’t read. When he ran MIKE HAMMER, he would have various actors and actresses act out the writers’ drafts for him in his office, promising them parts in the episode as payment. And then making the writers write in new characters and scenes for his helpers to perform in. Characters and scenes that later were cut out.

Even My Favorite Boss Who Shall Be Anonymous Because I’ve Always Had A Great  (and perverse) Affection For Him, did his best to humble the writers we worked with. A favorite trick was to read only the first and last 5 pages of a writer’s script and use everything he could find there to demonstrate how utterly inadequate the whole draft was. At the end of that meeting, he’d come up with an entirely different story – I mean so different you couldn’t even use the same characters – and demand a new, fully completed draft the first thing the next morning, although he wouldn’t be in the office until later in the day.

I’ve always envied the writers I knew who missed most of the egotists and tyrants who kept me fit and trim, and wished I had their luck in the draw. But whenever I start feeling sorry for myself, I let the memories flood me, and instead of drowning I inevitably start to laugh. Mentors are wonderful. We need all the help we can get. But for great mind-bending, hair-raising stories, you can’t beat a good monster. They’ll make you the life of the party every time.

About LB

Larry Brody has been profiled in such national magazines and websites as Esquire, Entertainment Weekly, Starlog, People, Electronic Media, IndieSlate, TechTV, io9, and of course TV Guide. A legendary figure in the television writing and production world, with a career going back to the late ’60s, Brody has written and produced literally thousands of hours of network and syndicated television. Brody has also been active in the TV animation world, writing, creating, consulting, and/or supervising the cult favorite STAR TREK animated TV series, the SILVER SURFER, SPAWN, SUPERMAN, SPIDERMAN, and SPIDER-MAN UNLIMITED animated series, and was showrunner of the French animated series, DIABOLIK, as well as part of the team that developed and wrote the live-action/cgi animation sci-fi series Ace Lightning for the BBC. Shows written or produced by Brody have won several awards including - yes, it's true - Emmys.

5 thoughts on “Bill Cosby & Other Famous Monsters of TV Land

  1. geraldsanford says:

    Many, too many years ago, I was picked along with several other writers — 10, I believe — to write a new series for a brand new actor. The series was called “I SPY”, and the star, of course, was a very young, and unknown, BILL COSBY. The meeting took place in the lobby of the Beverly Hills Hotel. And after being introduced to us, and shaking hands, Cosby started off by telling us that the night before he was taken to a restuarant by the Executive Producer of the show, which by the way was called, “I SPY”, and when the Waiter asked if they’d like to start off with wine, Cosby picked one out first asking how much it cost. The Waiter, trying to keep from laughing, said, “A hundred dollars a bottle.” And without the slightest hesitation the young Cosby responded with, “How much by the glass?” gs

  2. LB says:

    For some strange reason, that story reminds me of Brandon Tartikoff.

    But why were you talking to Cosby, who was only the second banana? The established star was Bob Culp. What were Friedkin and Fine up to? Hmm…

    • geraldsanford says:

      Hey, isn’t that funny? I forgot all about Culp. I’m sure he was there, too, but I blanked out. I remember there was a team of writers, who became quite successful, and got into the Guild the exact same day I got in. There were just the 3 of us. Damn! where have all the years gone?! And why did they have to run? gs

      • LB says:

        “Damn! where have all the years gone?! And why did they have to run?”

        Ah, the question of my lifetime. Of all our lifetimes. I’d write a script/novel about it, but living with the subject at the keyboard would be way too depressing.

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