Jumping in Defeat First: A TV/Film Writer Examines His Creative Life

All too many writers toiling away in the fields of TV find themselves falling into the “can’t win for losing” frame of mind created by an environment in which it often seems as though every single little creative thought or impulse is the cause of a life or death battle with the powers that be.

Talk about self-defeating! But how do we escape that frame of mind? What can we do? Well, um, maybe we can start with this:

Jumping_inby David S. Simon

I just spent the last hour writing a heartfelt piece…and just as I was finishing the very last sentence, my wrist accidentally hit the delete button and wiped out every single, hand polished word.

Every. Single. Word.

And here I am writing about defeat. Go know.

But here’s the thing: my summation, that even I didn’t anticipate still lives.

It was thus:

Pursue pleasure, not happiness, because as George Carlin once said, “The trouble with happiness is the minute it’s over, all you want is more happiness.”

The thrill of invention is what has to sustain us, rather than the race towards the “I’m finished line.”

As a character says in my most recent play:

“Sometimes I confuse exhaustion with accomplishment.”

Immediately after typing the words, “The End,” I leap out of my ergonomic chair and stare out
through the blinds of hopefulness watching for the confetti tossing parade in my honor that will surely march up my front lawn, hoist me onto a float and carry me off to Accolade Land because I have earned it.

But where I almost always –no: always find myself is on the jagged lipped edge of the most slippery cliff, yelling out my own name, waiting for the echo that never, ever comes.

Even my own voice lets me down.

After that, I am left to sit alone, in the darkness of my full lit spirit, listening to the final movement of the Dissmissive Symphony whose final, punctuating crescendo is a resounding THUD.

I am more often than not, the prom date ignored, gripping onto corsage in my clenched fist that never comes.

Some think that writer’s block is hell, well I’m here to tell you that being prolific is even worse, because the more I write, the more opportunity I give to all the anonymous assassins out there, who tend to take me out with one deadly flat nosed bullet….

Read it all at Huffington Post