Speaking of classic TV – What? We weren’t? Well we should’ve been because TVWriter™’s very own Herbie J Pilato, the dood of doods of whom yer friendly neighborhood munchausen now speaketh, is the absolute King of Classic TV – way, way, way back in the day, a star you’ve probably never heard of by the name of Bob Cummings, starred in a popular and, for that era, long running sitcom called Love That Bob.
Why is the munching man bringing this up at this place and time? For two resounding reasons:
1) To impress Herbie J with my very own super knowledge of his specialty, most of which was obtained from, oh yeah, him.
2) Because the opening of Love That Bob always had Mr. Cummings, who played a horny photographer, looking directly at the viewer and snapping a picture as he said: “Hold it! I think you’re gonna like this picture!” And we think that Herbie J’s fans and friends are going to absolutely love this pic…and the event it describes even more:
I’ve seen every episode of Killjoys since this series about intergalactic bounty hunters first debuted on SyFy in 2015, and I’m going to lead this review off with what may be a shocking confession:
I haven’t understood a single thing I’ve seen in any episode except the various sex scenes that have appeared from time to time. Yet, still, I watch. And watch. And watch.
And I can’t for the life of me explain why.
So with that in mind:
Hannah John-Kamen is totally believable as the most accomplished assassin in any universe, and she doesn’t utter one single word that sounds like she didn’t just think of it. She’s also gorgeous and has the sexiest voice munchado has heard since UK stage and occasional screen star Tammy Grimes moseyed from this mortal coil to the next one.
Oh, look, it’s Hannah John-Kamen!
There’s all kinds of crazy chemistry between cast members. The banter is non-stop, and you know you’re watching people having a terrific onscreen time with each other.
Fucking show moves faster than anything else on TV or the interwebs ever.
Premium cable language – “Shit!” “Fuck!” “Bastard” – without premium cable pricing.
WTF is going on in this series?
Why in the name of Isaac Asimov are these people doing any of the things they do?
Worst photographed fights of the current era. Nobody on TV throws punches as wildly as Aaron Ashmore and Luke Macfarlane yet brings their opponents whamming to the floor. OTOH, watching Ms. John-Kamen kicking ass is so tingle-inducing what the guys do doesn’t matter at all.
The plots are for all practical purposes plotless, presupposing that the viewers – every one of us – have seen and read every science fiction series on TV and film and therefore are able to bring our own stories to mind to fill in the blanks that arrive every 45 seconds or so.
The settings, basic arcs, and attitudes are exactly the same as those of Killjoy‘s Syfy stablemate, Dark Matter. It’s like two rival network executives made a bet that each of them could oversee a stronger show than the other using the same basic material as episode guide.
ALL IN ALL:
As the crazy fanboy with the incredible background necessary for enjoying this show (i.e., a love of women like Ms. John-Kamen performing her various kung fu moves in skintight clothes and a pretty damn good memory of every science fiction show ever) I have to tell you that non of my complaints matter. Not one. I really want you to watch this show and keep it on forever.
Dark Matter, on the other hand, could vanish forever and I’d never know it was gone. Well, I might miss the sexy android trying to learn how to be a real human girl, but probably not because Hannah John-Kamen…yes!!!
Oh, are there other actors on this show besides Hannah John-Kamen? Yer friendly neighborhood muncher has never noticed.
munchman is TVWriter™’s sexist pig in residence. Or maybe, just maybe, the poor guy is hopelessly, inadequately, miserably, in love.
2017 Emmy nomination time is approaching, and former showbiz “bible” now superfluous but fun website Variety.Com has done an end run around those equally superfluous but fun awards and asked 1, 2, 3…wow, thirty-fucking-four showrunners to pick their faves from the current season (their own shows excluded, of course).
We know how excited y’all are to know what the picks were (becuz, hell’s bells, of course those showrunners’ judgments are more important than yer lowly mouth-breather opinions, so yer friendly neighborhood munchero is here to give you the quickest possible look-see, thanks to the editorial geniuses (for reals!) at Quartz Media.
Apocalypse Now – like Fallout: New Vegas on acid in Vietnam
Apocalypse Now – experience the psychological horror of the original motion picture
And, in Francis’ own words;
Forty years ago, I set out to make a personal art picture that could hopefully influence generations of viewers for years to come. Today, I’m joined by new daredevils, a team who want to make an interactive version of Apocalypse Now, where you are Captain Benjamin Willard amidst the harsh backdrop of the Vietnam War. I’ve been watching videogames grow into a meaningful way to tell stories, and I’m excited to explore the possibilities for Apocalypse Now for a new platform and a new generation.
“The Good?” Where the fuck could “The Good” be? Reducing a film masterpiece to short cut footage for a goddamn game? WTF is wrong with this guy?
WTF couldn’t be bad about this?
Is Francis on life support somewhere? Or has he joined the rest of the goddamn entertainment world and gone brain dead? Oh well, the good news is that with only a week left to go the project is nowhere near reaching its $900,000 goal. To quote Donnie Dimwit about way too many other things, “Sad.” But the real sadness here for yer friendly neighborhood munchman is that this project even exists.
The current state of the US of A being what it is, yer friendly neighborhood munchman has found himself forced to take a long, hard look at what he’s been writing – and thinking.
The result of that long, hard look is the realization that considering the situation, ranting and raving about the sad offerings to be had on our TVs and computer screens and the idiot machinations behind them is, way too obviously, a total waste of time and resources.
With that in mind, here are some recent shows and events that have managed to bring el munchero a smile or three, and I for reals hope they will do the same for you.
It may sound silly, but the fact that Agent Carter showrunners Michele Fazekas and Tara Butters are even as we speak hard at work developing an ABC series “based on the Disney theme park mythology” according to Slashfilm. muncherola well remembers his first time at Disneyland at the age of four and how utterly beguiled I was by the Disney fantasyverse that had now become real. I even saluted the captain of our submarine ride and thanked him for the tour. If Michele and Tara can bring even half that much joy into the world it will have become a better planet indeed.
HBO is working on a new comedy called Divorce from Sharon Horgan, co-creator and star of Catastrophe. And methinks, that if this thing turns out half as funny/moving as the darkly funny Catastrophe and soothes a divorcee soul or two, well, that “better planet” thing will have struck again.
The other day a friend having conniptions over “That Asshole in the White House” sent me a 4 month old column from Ken Levine, one of the funniest TV and blog writers ever. It’s about the problems that he and his partner David Isaacs had back in 1980 when writing a comedy pilot about the White House pressroom. Seems that no matter what they wanted to do – like name the fictional president – the network, ABC, said no. The bright side here is that kind of stifling is no longer the case even on broadcast networks, where writers now have more freedom than ever before, and way more than current members of the White House pressroom, for sure.
Mindy Kaling of The Mindy Project fame is developing an ABC pilot about a lesbian couple in Kansas. munchaderio isn’t a big Mindy fan by any means (reminds me too much of a certain ex from back in the day – which isn’t all that far back becuz this kid still ain’t all that old but anyway…), but maybe MK will do better this time. (See? I really am thinking positively. And Mindy Kaling becoming a better writer is certainly a more likely possibility than that ex I mentioned every becoming a better anything – oh, wait. Damn)
Sites like CV Independent exist. Digest that statement for a minute, then visit the site. See? It’s a good thing, yeah?
J.J. Abrams is doing an HBO series called Glare. This ensures that the first season will be accessible and interest-piquing and the second season will be wild and out there and fascinating and the third season will either be utter chaos (hey, munchmunster likes chaos) or won’t exist, giving us all more time to kvetch about more important things.
Marco Polo has been cancelled by Netflix!
The best news yet. Season three of Rick and Morty will definitely be out and about in 2017, as reported at an Adult Swim development meeting broadcast on Facebook Live. What makes this bit of not-so top secret intel so meaningful to yer insubordinate servant here is that I got it from an article at Christian Times. If Christian Times is digging Rick and Morty, maybe the good ole U.S. isn’t doing so bad after all. (Unless it means that Rick and Morty has made an abrupt about-face in tone and storylines…No! It can’t be! Forget I said that, ye gods of reality story-making. Forget it, I say!
That’s it for now, gentile gentle readers. I’m off now to gird for war. In keeping with my new awareness that the current cultural/political situation in my adopted homeland needs fixing – and soon – yer insolently insubordinate servant is taking some time off from this column and all other TVWriter™ duties to join the Resisters and fight for Truth, Justice, and the Gen-u-Wine American Way.
How will I do it? I dunno yet. Maybe start a blog?
The insolently insubordinate yuman known as munchman has been at TVWriter™ since the very beginning of this site. He wants us all to know that he’s cooler than we are. And we think you’ll agree when we say to him, “Dood, we don’t effing care!” We aren’t sure whether he’s really leaving us or not. Either way, you can still learn more about (but not all that much, really) HERE
…and yer friendly neighborhood munchlinio lurves it!
The outrageous depravity of Kaitlin Olson’s character, Mickey, AKA The Mick
The writing that gives Kailin Olson so much to work with while inhabiting Mickey, AKA The Mick
The writing that actually makes each episode of this series (okay, yeppers, I’ve only seen two, but I’m definitely coming back for more) not just Kaitlin Olson AKA Mickey AKA The Mick being funny but also makes each ep about something, in that way that old folks are always saying TV used to be (Was BONANZA ever “about” something? Really?)
Kaitlin Olson’s character, Mickey, AKA The Mick isn’t exactly somebody we haven’t seen before. It is, in fact, very, very, very much like the character she plays on a little show called Always Sunny in Philadelphia (but who the hell cares? The more KO AKA M AKA TM the better, dammit!)
IN OTHER WORDS
Watch this show. Make your friends watch it. Make your family – you know, those phoney baloneys who always say they’re “disappointed” in what you and your generation create and enjoy – watch ittoo. Maybe they’ll learn something. Even if they don’t, maybe their eyeballs will get The Mick renewed. Again and again and again.
I was shocked – shocked, I say! – to look over TVWriter™’s Google Analytics this past weekend and discover that munchman’s TV Musings is far and away the least popular of all regular features on this site. Not just for this new year, oh no, but for all time. Even if you include my old Love & Money column, which held the title up till now.
So thank you, friends and neighbors, mates and exes, for you continued lack of support. I promise to continue bugging the shit out of you for many days, weeks, months, possibly even years to come!
Which brings us to:
Life in our oh-so Phil-Dickian Universe of black comedy and ennui (and who’d a-thunk those two concepts could co-exist so well?) continues to bring a simultaneously disgusted and bored smile to Yer Friendly Neighborhood Ubermuncher’s face. Case in point: Recent news that the Coen Brothers are going to write and direct their first TV series. It’s called The Ballad of Busty Scruggs, and guess what, ya illiterate bastids? Sucker that I am for anything that’s the ballad (or even ballade) of anything, I’m intrigued as hell and looking forward to what they end up giving us. Welcome to the Binge Watching Brigade, balladeers!
OTOH, recent news that Constantine, a successful comic book about a very successful and un-Doc Strange or even Harry Potter type wizard that has failed in all previous attempts to bring it to both film and TV is coming back as an animated series reaffirms my suspicion that my eternal depression is justified. Don’t get the munchadingus wrong. I lurve the comic book incarnation of everybody’s favorite bi-sexual magicker and would love to see it on my laptop, but this time around it’s appearing on the farm team’s farm team. By which I mean on the CWSeed website, which is where the morons-who-consider-themselves-ultrahip-geniuses show stuff that even they understand isn’t good enough for their grossly inadequate attempt at being a television network, the CW itself. I’m thinking, “Yikes!” and worrying that I’m being too optimistic.
Speaking of comics, BleedingCoolhas a list of the top selling comic books of 2016 that probably would tell me a lot if I bothered to analyze – that means think, if any Trumperfuckers are reading this – it. Turns out the numero uno seller of last year was Big Trouble in Little China/Escape from New York #1 by Greg Pak and Daniel Bayliss, which beat not only Marvel’s Civil War #1 but D.C.’s first issue of Harley Quinn. A non-tentpole winner, guys ‘n’ gals! A property with no toys, no games, no recent successful film or TV series! Maybe there’s some hope in this world after all, yeah?
While we’re on the subject of hope, I noticed that Wil Wheaton – yeppers, that Wil Wheaton – last week posted a short, uh, post on his website about a subject that should be near and dear to our hearts. It’s called “Three books that helped make me a better writer,” and I’d say it’s a must-read except…sorry, Wil, I love you as a mid-range almost-threatening mildly-irritating evil boss in most if not all of your recent TV play acting, but this writing thing? Better writer than what? Any other almost famous in another area beginner? Keep hoping, pal. Dreams can come true!
Ooh, Drew Barrymore is coming to the TV series meatmarket next month with a series called Santa Clarita Diet on Netflix. Methinks that’s cooler than shit but what’s this thing where she’s playing the MOM of the lead character? No way is she old enough for that. No way can I, Ms B’s absolutely biggest fan who thought she was fantastic in Guncrazy no matter what anybody sez, be that old either. Curse you, Phil Dick! Get yer universe outta here and go!
I’m gonna go now too, but first one last cooler than shit bit of showbiz newz. For reasons that my former significant other could never understand and to be honest I’m not so sure I do either, I’ve become a fan of a tumblr blog called Left,Write, Left. And as that selfsame ex can attest, when I’m a fan I’m as fanatic as they come. So not only am I recommending the blog, I’m also here to officially congratulate its writer, Adi Blotman (whose name, come to think of it, may be as real/unreal as munchman itself is or is not) for having what it takes to write a full length pilot script of some sort or other, as opposed to just thinking about it in bed at night and falling sleep while trying to decide what color hair the protagonist has. And, further, for entering it in the 2017 Launch Pad Pilot Competition. Hey, Adi, have you thought about entering this in the next PEOPLE’S PILOT as well? I know the head guy over there pretty well, and…
Oops, I’m outta time and space for this week. (My ex sez I’m always outta time and space, but what the hell, I kinda like the dimension I’m in. Tune in next time to hear me quietly rage about Love, Money & The Industry…and the goddamn Philip K. Dick multiverse we’re fucking stuck in!
Yer Friendly Neighborhood munchman is the official TVWriter™ scapegoat and has been getting kicked around here since the very beginning of this site. He wants us all to know that he’s cooler than we are. And we think you’ll agree when we say to him, “Dood, we don’t effing care!” You can learn more about muncher (but not all that much, really) HERE