6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person

Um…how does a humor site like Cracked.Com know all this? Even our Incredibly Difficult to Please Boss, AKA LB, says this article is right on…especially about showbiz. (You’ll have to excuse him; all he @#$! knows is showbiz, but he knows it very well.)

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by David Wong

2013, motherfuckers. Yeah! LET’S DO THIS.

“Do what?” you ask. I DON’T KNOW. LET’S FIGURE THAT OUT TOGETHER, MOTHERFUCKERS.

Feel free to stop reading this if your career is going great, you’re thrilled with your life and you’re happy with your relationships. Enjoy the rest of your day, friend, this article is not for you. You’re doing a great job, we’re all proud of you. So you don’t feel like you wasted your click, here’s a picture of Lenny Kravitz wearing a gigantic scarf.

Via Upscalehype.com

For the rest of you, I want you to try something: Name five impressive things about yourself. Write them down or just shout them out loud to the room. But here’s the catch — you’re not allowed to list anything you are (i.e., I’m a nice guy, I’m honest), but instead can only list things that you do (i.e., I just won a national chess tournament, I make the best chili in Massachusetts). If you found that difficult, well, this is for you, and you are going to fucking hate hearing it. My only defense is that this is what I wish somebody had said to me around 1995 or so.

#6. The World Only Cares About What It Can Get from You…

#5. The Hippies Were Wrong…

#4. What You Produce Does Not Have to Make Money, But It Does Have to Benefit People…

#3. You Hate Yourself Because You Don’t Do Anything…

#2. What You Are Inside Only Matters Because of What It Makes You Do…

#1. Everything Inside You Will Fight Improvement…

Read the sordid details about – yikes! – life