Diana Vacc sees ‘Beaches’

Why in the name of creativity are these women smiling?

by Diana Vaccarelli

No spoilers here because it’s already spoiled!

Last month Lifetime premiered yet another remake Beaches.  As a feature film, Beaches was a moving drama following two young friends and their relationship throughout the years. Unfortunately, the only thing moving in this television film was my gag reflex.     

THE GOOD:

  • Nia Long gave a gut wrenching performance as the introverted Hillary Whitney. This performance is heartfelt and breathtaking.  I felt sympathy for her and was rooting for her to survive her disease.  One scene that stood out in particular is when Hillary is watching her young daughter Tori play with CC on the beach and smiles at the two of them. This scene represents hope, showing that Hillary knows that her daughter is going to be okay and that she can let go.   

THE BAD:

  • Where to begin? Lifetime, was it really necessary to remake such a classic? The writers, Bart Baker and Nikole Beckwith, didn’t come close to capturing the magic of the original. The original worked so well because of the chemistry between stars Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey.  Those two perfectly displayed that the characters have been friends for a lifetime. Here…it’s like they just met during casting.
  • Idina Menzel portrays the character of CC Bloom made iconic by the Divine Ms. M aka Bette Midler.  Menzel as the character is annoying and frustrating.  At a pivotal moment of conflict between the two heroines, Menzel destroyed all credibility, yelling in a way that made listening even more painful than having to endure nails scraping on a chalk board. It’s not like me hate on an actor, but I wanted to slap her. Menzel’s vocal range as a singer matched Midler’s, but her acting in this film never comes close.
  • The scenes that were supposed to be funny weren’t at all comical. Writing flaw? Acting flaw? Directing flaw? I think the responsibility lies squarely on the shoulders of whomever made the decisions that brought all the participants together.

THE REST:

The remake of Beaches has no reason to exist.  It was completely unsatisfying. I can’t think of anybody I know to whom I would recommend it.  


Diana Vaccarelli is TVWriter™’s Critic-at-Large and one of the best people we know. Find out more about her HERE

David Perlis reviews ‘Rogue One’

EDITOR’S NOTE: It’s begging a thousand pardons time as TVWriter™ acknowledges that we fucked up bigtime. We’ve had David Perlis’ review of Rogue One for months now but totally lost track of its place in our Secret Subterranean Vault, and it only re-surfaced yesterday.

Our apologies to David and Star Wars fandom as a whole for depriving them of David’s opinions back when they were timely. Forgive us – puhleeze!

Okay, David, we’ve abased ourselves enough, yeah? Over to you, dood:

Rogue One Review…Finally!
by David Perlis

THE ACCURATE AND NUANCED PLOT SUMMARY

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away…

Young Ian McKellen blackmails bad-guy turned good-guy Galen Erso into building the Death Star. Fifteen years later, Captain-Rebel finds Galen’s daughter Jin (Jyn? Gin? Jen?), to help find Forest Whitaker (a sort of Che Guevara—whose name, I think, actually was Che Guevara), to find the pilot guy, to find Galen, to find the Death Star plans. Along the way, they pick up Donnie Yen and Donnie Yen’s friend. No one knows their names. Not even the writers. CGI Tarkin is taking credit for all of Sir Ian’s work, so Sir Ian complains to Vader, who has a mother fucking castle on Mustafar with a mother fucking BACTA TANK! That was cool. Vader calls Sir Ian whiney (I could have done without Vader’s puns), so Sir Ian flies to Deep Space 9. Galen dies. Jin flies to the planet that DS9 hovers over to steal the Death Star plans. Master switch and satellites abound. More rebels show up and botch everything. Master switch and satellite and a big battle—then Jin steals the plans. The Death Star arrives, and Sir Ian has this rather beautifully moment of realization that his life’s passion is about to pee all over him in the form of a big green Super Laser.

The entire cast is blown up.

And you think it’s over, right? NOPE! ‘Cause just as the rebels escape, Vader shows up, and I swear, it’s the best five minutes in cinematic history. Vader goes fucking ape shit, and even though you know they escape with the plans, you just keep thinking “Jesus Christ! They’re gonna lose! Vader is right there, and they’re gonna fucking lose!” And your concrete memories of exactly what happens in A New Hope are put into serious doubt, but then of course they escape, and the movie ends with a shot of CGI C-Fish saying “Hope.”

QUESTION FROM THE AUDIENCE

Got it. But how did yesterday’s far superior and inspired post give a respectable B- to a film that you, yourself, suggested can largely be ignored for a good romp in the sack?

Rogue One is good. Sex is better.

WHY SEX IS BETTER THAN ROGUE ONE

Good sex is better. The kind you have in the back of a packed theatre. With Red Hots. And THX.

The final five or so minutes alone make this movie a blessing in mine eyes. Vader slaughtering the rebels? My oh my!  And there were other moments throughout that really lit me up…can’t think of ’em right now. Anyhoo!—overall, the movie just didn’t suck me in the way a good ole’ garbage chute getaway does. I doubt I’ll be watching Rogue One yearly, as I do with the Original Trilogy—and I chalk that up to a few different things:

MISSED OPPORTUNITIES

Forest Whitaker’s Che Guevera was cool. Cool like Luke—from Cool Hand Luke. A rebel extremist at odds with our familiar band of heroes. A paranoid, maybe even schizo, cyborg. Hell yeah. I tell ya, I was prepared to watch an anti-hero test our protagonist’s morals and start fucking up best-laid plans in Acts II and III before succumbing to his fatal flaws. Greek drama at its finest. Instead, he’s killed off on the fringe of Acts I and II, never serving more than a hiccup of an obstacle, and adding twenty-odd minutes of “so what?”

I’m not sure what writers saw as Che’s dramatic purpose, but every hope I had for him basically fizzled out with an anti-climactic death. Boo.

By the way, that “fatal flaw” is known as “hammartia” in pretentious drama-speak. Yeeeeep.

MEGO

It’s a criticism one of my 4000-level writing profs turned me onto back in college. MEGO: My Eyes Glazed Over. Like when your mind just won’t process the logorrhea served up to you, but fuck it, you’ll fake it later.

I’m afraid I had my share of Rogue One MEGOs. It usually happens when there’s a lot of lateral plot points, without going deeper into the complexity of existing plot points.

QUESTION FROM THE AUDIENCE

Lateral plot points? Wut? MEGO, man! MEGO!

Just sayin, having to find this dude, to get to that dude, cause of this dude…it’s a set series of road bumps that I just want to get to the end of ’cause it could basically be condensed with no real change. I sorta ignored all of Rogue One‘s technical details for the same reason. Hyperdrive doesn’t work? Got it. Need to shut down a tractor beam? Right there with ya. But master switch, ’cause satellite, but the shield and oops tangled power cordwhatever, there’s laser beams, so I’ll just…Yeah. Hand me a Red Hot?

Miss a line of dialogue, and your understanding for the next ten minutes is reduced to “rebels vs Empire.” But it’s at least explosive.

QUESTION FROM THE AUDIENCE

You’re bummin’ me out, man! Can’t you give me something positive?! I already bought my ticket!

No problema! (I’d also like to direct you to my lighter, more respectable post from yesterday).

GALEN ERSO: THE GALAXY’S FIRST SCIENTIST

I bet you never even noticed that Star Wars was scientist-free before now. Didja? Didja?!

Had he spent too much time onscreen, I might have lost interest in Mr. Erso. But oh how those crafty writers kept him elusive and mysterious, perfectly balancing his evil deeds with his misgivings. I love his stoicism. I love his empathy. I love that I remember his name.

Yes, Mr. Erso adds a lovely shade of gray to our “light” and “dark” Star Wars arenas. Gray—just like his beautiful, thick locks. His engineering genius is a welcome addition to our normal cast of philosophers, pilots, smugglers, knights, politicians, bounty hunters, farmers, salesman, and 1960s fry cooks. I wish he would have worn a space visor, but, I can forgive that one.

Galen Erso. Solid A+ for me.

Shit. I just remembered those Kamino cloner dudes. That was pretty sciencey. They’ve ruined my point, and now I hate that movie even more.

Moving on? Moving on.

PILOT GUY

That’s all he will ever be to me: Pilot Guy. Just like “Oversized Munchkin,” Or “Stupid Podracer Kid.” He got us from A to Z by filling gaps other characters couldn’t. But that’s about it. Pilot Guy: Licensed Gap Filler. (I swear, if anyone makes a lewd comment…) And it’s not just Pilot Guy. He’s just the poster child for the others, like Donnie Yen, and Donnie Yen’s friend. Just kinda there. No real dramatic intention. Sometimes you toss him a problem only he can solve—maybe something with the master switch!—but that’s about it.

No, I didn’t much care for Pilot Guy—But this comes with one very important caveat. (“Caveat” may not be the right word, but I can’t think of the one I want. So we’ll stick with “caveat.”)

THE IMPORTANT CAVEAT TO DISLIKING PILOT GUY (AND EVERYONE ELSE)

The capacity to forget Pilot Guys does work beautifully in one way: He may be nothing more than Pilot Guy to me, but you can’t help but feel that, in the long run, that’s all he was to the alliance, too. One of the many forgettable pilot guys. Ya don’t see portraits of him, or Captain-Rebel or Jin Erso lined up at the altar when Luke, Han, and Chewie get their shiny medals, do ya? In our decades long war, lots of people die, and lots of people are forgotten. Rogue One is the story of unsung heroes, and I appreciate that about it.

Rest in peace, Pilot Guy.

The Greatest Success of Rogue One

I think the prime directive (someone’s going to murder me for that one) for Rogue One was to bridge the prequels with the Original Trilogy. A piece of a greater puzzle. From all the small continuity nods (killing off Red Five, anyone?) to the fan boy moments (seriously—Vader in a bacta tank), it satisfies all those little questions we ever had with little complaint. If that’s it’s only job, it does it brilliantly, and I give it an A.

But I feel compelled to look at a movie’s ability to stand on its own two legs, no matter its primary purpose. And for all the reasons I’ve already mentioned, I’ve gotta take it from the A down to the B-. Maybe a B if I’m high.

And there it is, my friends. A much too long, and unnecessary review of Rogue One. Be sure to comment below.


David Perlis is a screenwriter and former People’s Pilot Finalist doing his best to break into the even Bigger Time.

Cinemark Classic Film Series: ‘Rebel Without a Cause’

by Doug Snauffer

Director Nicholas Ray’s classic ode to embittered, alienated teens, Rebel Without a Cause, was back in theaters last week as part of ‘Cinemark’s Winter Classic Series 2017.’

The weekly showcase of Hollywood’s most distinguished and time-honored films is sponsored by Turner Classic Movies and Fathom Events, and often includes commentary reels featuring TCM TV-hosts Robert Osborne and Ben Mankiewicz.

Rebel Without a Cause first hit theater screens on October 29, 1955, and became a sensation, raking in $4.5 million against its $1.5 million budget.  The film’s success was overshadowed, of course, by James Dean’s death in a road accident just a month before the movie’s release.

(top-to-bottom) Natalie Wood, James Dean, and Sal Mineo get cozy.

Rebel was only Dean’s second film.  He’d made his big-screen debut just six-months earlier opposite Julie Harris in director Elia Kazan’s East of Eden, then signed on for George Stevens’ Giant with Rock Hudson and Elizabeth Taylor.  Production was delayed, however, due to Taylor’s pregnancy, allowing time for Warner Bros. to cast Dean as the lead in Rebel.  It proved to be the defining performance of the young man’s life and career—both of which were cut tragically short.

Despite the wild success of Rebel Without a Cause, Dean—unlike his co-stars Sal Mineo and Natalie Wood—failed to receive Oscar recognition.  Mineo was nominated as best supporting actor and Wood for best supporting actress.  Neither walked away with a win—but Dean was overlooked entirely.

***

I viewed Rebel Without a Cause on January 22, 2017, the first time I’d experienced it on a movie screen, and had mixed reactions to James Dean’s performance.  There’s no denying that Dean had screen presence.  But I tended to view his “method” acting style as more of an oddity.

“You’re tearing me apart!” James Dean delivers his signature line.

A prime example occurs early in the movie after Dean’s character, Jim Stark, is arrested and his parents (portrayed by Jim Backus and Ann Doran) are summoned to the police station.  There they spend as much time arguing with each other as they do admonishing their son, leading Dean to deliver his signature line, “You’re tearing me apart!”

But his “method” delivery, in my opinion, was all artifice, an overly theatrical tribute to Brando and other proponents of that particular acting approach. Dean’s facial expressions and animated hand gestures took away from his performance rather than enhanced it, making it seem forced instead of realistic.

Critic Bosley Crowther, in his New York Times review of East of Eden on March 10, 1955, commented of Dean’s performance:

“He scuffs his feet, he whirls, he pouts, he sputters, he leans against walls, he rolls his eyes, he swallows his words, he ambles slack-kneed—all like Marlon Brando used to do. Never have we seen a performer so clearly follow another’s style. Mr. Kazan should be spanked for permitting him to do such a sophomoric thing. Whatever there might be of reasonable torment in this youngster is buried beneath the clumsy display.”

Of course, after his death James Dean quickly became larger-than-life, and his acting style now defines the legend.  In evaluating Rebel Without a Cause, I doubt it would’ve become the breakthrough hit it did without him.  But whether Dean had the chops to sustain a long-term acting career we’ll never know.

(left-to-right) Corey Allen, James Dean, and Natalie Wood revving up for a “chicky race.”

Rebel wasn’t the only film about teen angst to hit theater screens that year.  Director Richard Brooks’ Blackboard Jungle beat Rebel into cinemas by seven months, bowing on March 25, 1955.  It played from an adult perspective, that of a dedicated teacher, Richard Dadier (Glenn Ford), hired to teach at a rough, inner-city high school.  Vic Morrow, also a disciple of method acting, played a tough gang leader, and Sidney Poitier a young black student with the ability to succeed.

Blackboard Jungle was also a box-office hit; shot on a budget of $1.1 million, it earned $5.2 million in domestic ticket sales.  It benefitted from a hit song, “Rock Around the Clock,” by Bill Haley and His Comets.  (The song had actually been released the previous year but hadn’t caught on.  After playing over the opening titles of Blackboard Jungle, however, it raced to the top of the charts and remained at #1 for eight-weeks.)

Both movies were made in an attempt to focus attention on the soaring rates of juvenile delinquency in the early 1950s—or to capitalize on it perhaps.  Rebel even took it a step further.  Director Nicholas Ray, scriptwriter Stewart Stern, and co-stars James Dean and Sal Mineo made a deliberate effort to portray Mineo’s character, Plato, as being gay.

For instance, when Plato opens his locker at the beginning of the film, there’s a pinup of Alan Ladd inside where one might have expected a female centerfold.  Then when he gets his first look at Jim, Plato is unquestionably swept away in a wave of wanton desires.

Natalie Wood tries to talk Sal Mineo out of making bad choices.

The Motion Picture Production Code at the time (http://productioncode.dhwritings.comwould not have permitted Plato to have been openly homosexual.  To do so in 1955 would most likely have resulted in the film being banned, and could have ruined the careers of those involved.  Even Mineo’s covert take was a risky move.

Blackboard Jungle courted controversy as well; Ford’s Mr. Dadier had to come to terms with his own bigoted feelings towards his black students, while another violent scene depicted the attempted rape of a teacher.

After the movie ended, I glanced around the theater and noticed that, of the 100 or so people who attended the screening of Rebel Without a Cause, a majority were middle-aged.  It would be nice if Cinemark could get younger moviegoers into these classic films, even if it meant handing out free passes in advance to teens who show up for other movies.

Upcoming titles for Cinemark’s 2017 classic film series include An Affair to Remember (60th Anniversary Event), All About Eve, North by Northwest, The Graduate (50th Anniversary Screening), Smokey and the Bandit (can you believe it’s been 40 years!), The Godfather, Some Like It Hot, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Bonnie and Clyde (another 50th anniversary), The Princess Bride, Casablanca, and Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner.

For more details, visit https://www.cinemark.com/theatres/.


Doug Snauffer is an Ohio-based freelance writer. His work has appeared in myriad publications and on SyFy Channel and includes several cult horror films and the books The Show Must Go On and Crime Television. Check him out on IMDB.

Diana Vacc Sees “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them”

fantastic-beasts-demiguise-featured

by Diana Vaccarelli

*Be warned – this review may contain spoilers*

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them is J.K. Rowling’s prequel to the Harry Potter books and takes place seventy years before them. It’s no secret that I’m a huge Harry Potter fan, one of the results of which is that going into this film I had high expectations. Would this film hold up?

THE GOOD:

  • The creatures are made with careful thought and imagination. They’re the most realistic CGI critters yet. Watching this film, I definitely felt not just as though they could exist but that the ones I was seeing did exist.
  • The performance of Oscar winner Eddie Redmayne as Newt is stellar. Is there anything this guy can’t do? Everything I’ve seen him in has made me feel that he was  perfectly cast in the role.
  • The story went in a direction I was not expecting. I don’t want to give too much away, but let me say this: I was shocked by the character of Graves (portrayed  brilliantly by Colin Farrell).
  • The writing is everything I wanted from J.K Rowling. She gives us a story that stands comfortably on its own while also illuminating the “future” world of Harry Potter with perfection.

THE BAD:

  • Believe it or not there is something about this film that I didn’t like. That was the transition of Colin Farrell to Johnny Depp as the character Grindlewald. Colin Farrell was perfect in his portrayal throughout the film, and to end it with Johnny Depp taking over the character was a huge jolt. Especially since Depp certainly didn’t perform as well as Farrell.

THE REST:

  • If you’re a fan of Harry Potter’s world of Witchcraft and Wizardry, then this film definitely is for you. It’s the perfect way to bring everything we love about Harry to this holiday season. (Except I still miss the boy, you know?)

Diana Vacc sees “Arrival”

by Diana Vaccarelli

 *Be warned – this review may contain spoilers*

mv5bmtexmzu0odcxndheqtjeqwpwz15bbwu4mde1oti4mzay-_v1_ux182_cr00182268_al_When I heard Arrival scored high on rotten tomatoes, I had to see the film for myself.  This film follows a linguist as she is recruited by the United States Military to assist in translating an alien language.

THE GOOD:

  • The writing of this film is top notch.  Written by Eric Heisserer and adapted from Ted Chiang’s short story, Story of Your life, Arrival starts out in what I perceived to be the past but it is in fact the future. I love how Heisserer tells the story of not war and bloodshed but one of struggle to communicate and learn from the alien visitors and how the world worked together.  The direction the story takes is, in a word, genius.
  • The actors have done an incredible job in this film. Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner as Dr. Louise Banks and Ian Donnelly have incredible chemistry as the linguist and mathematician forced to work together to decipher the alien language. Adams gives a heartfelt, deeply emotional performance that definitely worked on me and my own feelings.
  • Bradley Young’s cinematography is brilliant and brings back the old days of science fiction in film, most notably 2001: A Space Odyssey. Each scene is breathtaking to watch and contributes to the tone of each scene.
  • Ultimately, the true brilliance in this story is how the alien race teaches us human beings to truly communicate with one another.

THE BAD:

  • This has to be one of my favorite films of the year. Hence, there is nothing bad in this film.

THE REST:

  • If you have been longing to see a truly classic science fiction film, then this is for you.  Go and see Arrival and you will be entertained – and moved – from start to finish.Diana Vaccarelli is the TVWriter™ Critic-at-Large and, in case you haven’t noticed, a HUGE Outlander fan. Learn more about her HERE

Munchman’s Latest TV Musings

Munchman’s TV Musings #6
by Munchman

  1. Everywhere Yer Friendly Neighborhood Munchovy looks on the interwebs he finds reviews of Marvel’s latest film, Doctor Strange. And every one of those reviews the munchy one has read starts out by apologizing for how much the critic has loved the furshluginner thing. Alas, sad as it is to say, Munchmoi is now joining the legion of the damned reviewers and saying, “Yeppers, kids, you’re right. I shouldn’t be so fucken positive but the rep-ruining truth from this particular youngish curmudgeon, “Holy Dread Dormamu, but I really did love this silly movie!” It’s my favorite Marvel comic character brought to life in a way that made me cry when I realized that creator Steve Ditko probably isn’t getting one single cent of the till. What’s that you say? Slammin’ Steve is only the co-creator of Doctor Strange? Well, folks, that depends on your definition of “creator,” doesn’t it? And the way Muncharoni looks at it, if the guy who called him back in the ’60s and said, “Steve, I need a magician character for next Thursday” deserves to be called a co-creator, then Rod Stewart’s ex-wife Britt Ekland deserves to be credited as co-writer of all the songs he wrote while she fellated him. (Yeppers, Britt went to court demanding credit and moola, and Red said what he said about her contribution to the writing, and the judge said, “Buh-bye Britty!”)  Bottom line here: Go see this movie. You’ll have a blast.
  2. On another positive note, I’m pleased to report that a site I never heard of before, called ITVT.Com AKA InteractiveTV Today, is every bit as good as most of the hyperbole on its “About Us” page says. Which come to think of it, means all those words of self-praise aren’t hyperbole at all, just good old self-promotion. Note to ITVT staff: This definitely is gilding the lily. You motherfuckers are awesome. Munchacha particularly is enamored of your new column “Run of Show,” about today’s “star showrunners,” who they are and how they came to be. Although I admit to being a little disappointed in the column title. “Run of Show” sounds just plain awkward to me. Why not something cleaner and simpler, like, say, “Head Honchos?” or “Unsung Heroes?” Wait, scratch that last suggestion. Showrunners aren’t exactly unsung anymore, are they? Thanks for helping with that, ITVT!
  3. Saw an article headling saying, “Why You Need to Change Your Writing Style” at another site I wasn’t familiar with, BaselineMag.Com, and immediately got all freaked out. You know, along the lines of, “Who the hell are you, asshat, to be telling me to change how I write? Munchester is so damned unpopular I’d bet half of Trumpazoid’s billion bucks (but not of me own) that you’ve never even read me!” Then I read the article, and now I’m here to recommend it. Here’s the opening sentence: “If you’re using a writing style that worked a few years ago, it’s probably obsolete.” The rest of this little gem explains why and how to fix it, and every word Mike Elgan puts out there is right on. Especially if your audience is younger than Gen X, the concept that if your examples or language usage is based on samples and usage from 10 years ago or more. Nobody that young has a clue, for example, of what the hell the phrase “right on,” means. Yeah, I snuck that in deliberately cuz like being an anachronistic kinda guy!
  4. Time now to return to the Negative Zone. Munchadario just ain’t buying a how a recent article on inews.co.uk spent about as much verbiage as the rest of us have whining about President Elect Tramp on an article titled “Meet the Visionairy TV Writers Behind the Autumn’s Hottest Dramas. Come on, people! TV show creators aren’t goddamn visionaries, they’re writers! Visionaries are magical beings, people, and, dammit, ain’t no TV writer who’s magic. Put a magical visionary thinker in a room full of TV executives, baby, and believe me, it’ll be like feeding a unicorn the lions. TV is pretty damn good these days, but it ain’t up there at the heavenly heights. Of course, I’m working for a guy who once had business cards claiming he was a “televisionary,” so WTFDIK? (Hope I’m not hurting your feelings, LB.)
  5. Last but not least, another, shorter rant to close my douching mouth. Have you seen the Netflix series, Black Mirror? (Actually, it isn’t a Netflix series, it’s a U.K. series picked up by Netflix and…oh, the hell with it. You get the message, yeah?) Anyway, Black Mirror is getting as many great reviews as Doctor Strange these days, but with one difference: Nobody reviewing it is apologizing for all the luv they’re dumping BM’s way. Methinks this besottedness is a generational thing, by which I mean that nobody I know who has seen both BM and the original oldie but goodie The Twilight Zone has said anything other than, “Hey, been watching a new version of Twilight Zone on Netflicks. It’s called Dark Mirror or Black Reflection or something like that.” In other words, BM is good, but it ain’t all that. Yeppers, I know most of you who’re reading this have no idea what half the words I just used mean. Mike Elgan already told me that. But mind-messin’ is a Munchman kinda thing!

That’s it for this week. Seeya soonish with less about the interweb and more musings about Love, Money, and popsicles on TV!

Diana Vacc sees “Inferno”

A perfect sample of the thrills, chills and excitement you'll see in Inferno

A perfect sample of the thrills, chills and excitement you’ll see in Inferno

by Diana Vaccarelli

*Be warned – this review may contain spoilers*

Tom Hanks reprises his role as our favorite religious conspiracy Professor Robert Langdon in Inferno. This time around he wakes up in an Italian hospital with no memory and has to team up with a Doctor to stop an evil plot that will threaten the world.

THE GOOD:

  • The production did a great job with locations. It was truly beautiful scenery. The way it was shot made you feel like you where in Italy with Tom Hanks.

THE BAD:

  • Let’s start with the acting. To be blunt it’s was extremely cheesey.  Now, I love Tom Hanks – who doesn’t? But in this film there is only one word for the performance, and that is – oh, you guessed it (must’ve seen the film): CHEESEY!
  • Oh Boy! Talk about dull writing. The script can only be described as laborious and slooowww. There isn’t an exciting moment to be had.  Nothing about the story kept me from being fully engaged with only my popcorn.

THE REST:

  • I can’t in good conscience recommend this film to anybody for any reason. You are, of course, free to go to any theater that still is showing this dog and judge for yourself, but if I were the guaranteeing sort I would absolutely guarantee that you will wish you hadn’t.

Diana Vaccarelli is the TVWriter™ Critic-at-Large and, in case you haven’t noticed, a HUGE Outlander fan. Learn more about her HERE